At last, the legendary Terente had finally been captured and killed. On June 5, 1927, newsstands in Bucharest were abuzz. And so, perhaps against my better judgment, I too will take the plunge. And this man lived a life that can, to an extent, be reconstructed. Answering the question “where am I from” is no more rewarding than grasping-pardon the image-for a definitive truth behind that sea-slug of neutered manhood: any answer is bound to disappoint.īut still, the penis exists. Often, when people struggle to pronounce my name, I feel compelled to explain my existence, my origins, which is an impossible task not because of any geographical ambiguity, but because of ever shifting narratives: my birthplace, Romania, has never quite decided which story of itself it wishes to tell most threads get lost in a hermeneutical knot of upheavals, makeovers, and catastrophes. Over time, the penis has become a kind of Rorschach test, a canvas on which an overlooked (and far less fortunate) slice of Europe projects its warring wishes for how it ought to be perceived by the wider world. However impossible a task, deciphering the genesis of this unhappy member is, at its heart, a question of identity. The pieces are diligently written, and do their best at reconstructing ninety-year-old events, despite the dearth of verifiable acts to work with and a turgid, century’s-worth of mythos to debunk. These articles are always replete with hyper-sized images of the orphaned penis, suspended mournfully in its formaldehyde soup-perhaps in the vague hope that its ugliness might elicit a few extra clicks. Occasionally newspapers will drudge it up again like the milled bones to an old fossil, struggling to reimagine the animal that was. Today, the Romanian press still can’t seem to let go of the storied penis. In 2014, a Bucharest nightclub owner thought it would be a good idea to make a replica of the severed member (with tattoo) and display it on the wall of his establishment for the amusement of drunken ravers. I tried to watch it recently but gave up after twenty minutes, when it became clear the movie was nothing more than a compendium of fantasies and outdated sex jokes. In 1995, a modestly-budgeted feature-length film was released that attempted to retell the fabled exploits of the outlaw, along with his tragic end. In Romania, this artifact and the story behind it have long been a source of intense fascination. It was at one time attached to an infamous outlaw named Stefan Vasali, known locally as Terente. It reads: “Fucks Fine when you Squeeze the Beak.” Unlike its Russian counterpart, however, this phallus has a decidedly clearer pedigree. It is also striking for its large tattoo: a column of text printed lengthwise down the shaft in the shape of an upside-down cross. It is not so much root-like as aquatic: a lowly marine mollusk, such as a sea-cucumber or perhaps one of those tube worms that desperately cling to thermal vents on the ocean floor. Its appearance differs considerably from the first. The second penis is on display in Bucharest, Romania, and is currently kept in the Mina Minovici Institute of Legal Medicine. Was it really Rasputin’s? Or was it merely pilfered from the corpse of some unlucky (and far less famous) character? No one knows. But despite the impressive appearance, there is scant evidence to corroborate this member’s illustrious provenance. Some of the images in my search feed include, somewhat pornographically, a blonde woman bending over to inspect the specimen, apparently both intrigued and repelled by its unsightliness. A quick google search for Rasputin dick yields a bottled organ that resembles something long buried underground, like an overgrown parsnip or a cankerous tree-root. ![]() Petersburg, and is said to have once belonged to Rasputin-the Siberian mystic who at one time served as the Romanov family’s private seer. Also affects most object interactions by 10% ( Turntables, Door Detonators, etc).As far as I know, there are currently two pickled penises-human, that is-on public display throughout the world.Increases chance when asking for items by 10%.Increases chance when asking NPCs to leave town by 10%.Increases chance to threaten an NPC by 10%.Increases the odds while gambling on a Slot Machine by 10%.The Four-Leaf Clover is a passive item in Streets of Rogue which increases luck. With this, you'll have better luck all the time! (insert groan)" "Normally, you'd need to be up all night to get lucky.
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